“Enough of question answer round, now it’s the time to put my point.” I thought to interrupt him when he asked almost 5 consecutive questions in our first meeting.
Finally, I started to elaborate my views.
“Hey, I think our choices matched, our likes-dislikes are quite similar. You liked me as you said and I liked you too. It’s nice really talking to you. But before we conclude I have few things to clear out. If we are on the same page, we can discuss with our families then.
“Please…” He insisted politely.
“After marriage, we need to renovate this house as soon as possible. You see it just has one room as of now where we can sleep. My mother can sleep in living room but I would not like it so we just need one more room.” I stopped for a while.
“What? room? this house? I am not getting actually. Why we will sleep in this room?” He was confused.
“Where else we can sleep? This room is nice and once you come to my home after marriage, we will acquire this only.” I said pointing towards my bedroom.
“Wait…why I would come to your home? You can stay at my home with my parents.” He stopped me in between.
“No, I can not come to your home as my mother is alone and I am not a bad or cruel child who leaves her parents once married! Can you leave your parents for me?” I questioned him then.
“My home is big enough with 3 rooms and we can occupy one of them, why to leave my parents?” He could not complete the answer properly.
“It’s not about big home. Not even about leaving your parents. I will never ask you to leave your parents even. Similarly I want you to never ask me to leave my mother as she is alone and she could never stay alone till date. Secondly, I can afford big home if I want and didn’t ask about your financial conditions yet.”
After a while I put forward a fair deal. “Let’s do one thing. You leave your parents and I leave mine too. We will stay somewhere nearby to both of them but in a separate house. This way we both feel justice and we can also look after them. What say?”
He was still dumbstruck. A smooth fine tune between us suddenly changed in silent mode. After few minutes, he started again.
“But why you want this? Why we have to change so much for marriage?”
This made me little louder. “Okay, do you have any other option? Tell me what you want then?”
“Simple…..He hesitated and continued. You come to my home like all other girls do. What’s problem in that? We will surely take care of your mother too, don’t worry. This is a tradition. Moreover, even if I agree, who will support us? Not even my parents and this….this society!” I just stopped him right there.
“Well, the same offer which you just told, I am giving you, will you be ready then?”
“No” He answered quickly this time.
“Why would I accept your offer? I still have one more alternative. I can come to your home with my mom or you all can come to my home, we really don’t mind. After all staying together is happiness.”
“You’re crazy” He uttered.
“Me? really? I mean can you explain me what’s so crazy about it? Since how many years women are doing this for men and was that crazy? How many of them sacrifice their career just to be with you guys?
Even if she is of a single parent, she has to follow the bull shit traditions? Where it is written that a woman has to leave her home willingly or unwillingly just for the sake of finding a partner? Why men can not do all these what we were doing so far? After all you also want to marry me…Better we also do what we desire and deserve!”
If a boy leaves his parents for his wife, its gonna be damn huge problem in his families. If man does this with all his desire or understanding, then also his wife would be blamed. Society creates havoc of such unnecessary topics all the times and people blindly or forcefully follow it. Everyone knows, society is faster than any news channel to criticize others and chew futile rumors. No one is interested in reality or humanity. No one dares to take initiatives and those who do, are betrayed. Why people just don’t live and let others live!?
In ancient time, there was a quite liberal society and rules where women could choose her own partner in the form of ‘Swayamvara‘ or could talk about anything in public. But going forward people interpreted everything on their own and innovated their own rules forcing them on others afterwards.
Marriage is not about leaving anyone’s parents, choices, views or one sided sacrifices, its about finding a soulmate with unconditional love! Mutual understanding of those two. It’s so enough.
I stopped and inhaled deep.
“Is it too much?….” I smiled and asked him.
He was speechless. I assumed one more time we rejected each other!
It may be easy to find a partner but its hard to find a soulmate.