rAndom

unnAmed book

I opened my new book. It is bizarre with no title and blank cover!

As I open it, I see the first page which says “Q: What is enough to get married to someone?” That’s it!

I turned the page and another page reads “A: LOVE

Next few pages are blank. On page no. 7, it was written as “Go to the page no. 2 and read it again”. I revised, what was written there “A: LOVE”

Curiously, I open 8th page:
Have you read page 2 carefully?

If yes { you must have noticed the line at bottom of the page }

else { Welcome! You need to refer all the further pages in detail. }

I quickly turned on page 2 and scanned towards the bottom of the page. The smallest fonts read “*Conditions applied.

I got it now. The answer to the question “whats so enough to get married?” was “Love” with *conditions applied strategy. It also says, few blank pages after the answer (page 2) is the phase where you enjoy being in love, where you just yet try to understand the parner with modicum of your little knowledge or by reading/hearing what was said by others about ‘Love’ or being in love. Next pages are for “Terms & Conditions” only! This will make you to understand that just this ‘Love‘ is not enough!

So these terms and conditions are as below:

  • Read carefully all the points from here before being committed.
  • If you are in love, you may enjoy butterfly feelings initially. Once committed, you need to take care before you speak or even think as it may result in certain unwanted, unforseen consequences which is too early for you to be shocked.
  • First, Being in love may not mean being committed for your partner! He may change his/her partner later!
  • He will now follow you everywhere to show his “concern”  or “care” including all your possible social media accounts. Moreover, he will not miss a chance to talk to you if you both are online at the same time. He would try to look for all the available schemes and means to call you all the times. Thus he is interested in you. Happy?
  • The schedules will be changed. You may sleep late at night either due to his calls or his thoughts. You may start eating what he likes and you never liked or hated earlier.
  • You will feel he is the best person in the world and you are the most lucky of all girls to have him as you will think he understands you the most.
  • Dates, dinners and gifts in early stages will surprise you and should be enough to get going.
  • If it all works smooth between you both for almost 2-3 months, he steps further trying to be little physical. The first touch may excite you creating dilemma and 100s of thoughts and feelings inside you. Eventually after his various efforts, you will surrender and may enjoy it too.
  • Now you are closed to each other and will sound kinda ‘cant live without each other’. You brag about him to everyone in friends and family.
    Alas, Happy spring ends soon!
  • Slowly he asks you to leave ‘unnecessary‘ friends, especially male friends. You may do it happily. He further interferes checking your mobile phone to see with whom and what you chat!
  • These situations may result  in fights. He will emotionally blackmail you though to get you back.
  • Again you both are good to go. Things repeat. Till now he almost dominates your feelings, emotions, physical relation, social media and your own personal views. You would happily accept everything by the time, willingly or unwillingly because HE is your first priority by all means.
  • Oh yes! He may also teaches you what a woman looks good in, well not just about clothes but also her way of thinking, speaking or walking?!! Traditions and ‘rites’ about his family, his thinking about a good ideal woman, who he would expect in you.
  • Adjusted enough. Time to get married? He will delay it as much as possible. After all, he realizes he has family which he might have  forgotten when approaching for a girl friend or lover or making any physical relations or commitments – again his family rites?!
  • Somehow, after a lot of fights and struggle, you may get married. He suddenly would show least interest in you because he already won you by now.
  • He will keep himself busy with his work, friends or TV/games etc stating that ‘I was always like this earlier too!’. The fights will be a daily routine due to your expectations from him. You seek to be with him the way you used to be when in love but his thoughts are changed or he is busy – he would name this as “being practical” and you will try to change yourself gradually to accept the things positively. You still need more positive doses in future…
  • He would ask you to stop talking to male friends so meeting them is not at all in picture – after all, you’re married now! As his wife, you may feel good but at the same time, will lose your own identity eventually.
  • By the time you realize this, you are already disconnected or lost with all your good friends, even family, your own views or opinions, your own identity! Now you may try to fight against it.
  • Results can worsen the situations now leading to stress, fights, depressions or may be severe problems.
  • Oh, forgot in laws! They are busy about waiting for a kid from you. Everything you might did for them is of no values as you started showing your original identity now to fight for your rights. You are not a good daughter in law obviously. You may even be tagged with abusive words by society, relatives or your own second family which you considered the first priority in life! You will learn then only blood relations are considered in the first family and not someone who got married to their son and depending upon their house, son and incomes!
  • If you’re earning more than him, everyone would flatter you and being a kind-hearted woman, you keep on sacrificing everything as money never mattered on top of relations!
  • There can be better situations or worst. You need to adjust, compromise, surrender, fight for justice or truth, keep calm, save relations and so much more!
  • Things are reverse now. Butterfly feelings vanished. You are not that lucky one but a victim in a trap. he is not the best but you never give up on him. You are hurt, betrayed, lost but tried adjusting, bearing or compromising your priorities. He doesnt see your profile picture for weeks unless you ask him to do so…oh comon he is busy, try to understand:)
  • You are everywhere with him in his family circle, relatives or group of friends, but he is not interested in your family or friends except female friends. After all, woman should not have so many male friends or share with them about her ‘persona’ life?! – Not a good rite!
  • You implemented most of trial errors to get your relationship as smooth as it shoud be, but in vain. Now as you try to be practical like him and give up on matters, he will need your love, affection or care again as he doesnt like change in you! He wont lose you. – his investments of time, money and everything he did for you?!
  • If you successfully wins his heart by doing everything he wants, you will expect the same from him. Once you’re done with all his demands, solutions, expectations just wait yet, he will add some more to the list. Conditional love!
  • After all the worst or good phases of your life, you might be in your late 30s. You realize you gave second priority to your career otherwise life would have been better in all terms.
  • You keep doing what you’re doing – hopelessly, helplessly; willingly, unwillingly or even sometime forcefully.
  • By the time he understands you or realize his mistakes and you both settle, you are in your 50s-60s. No expectations, no charm, no interests at least from any relationship.
  • The chances of good, desired relations, ideal ‘Love‘ are 1 out of 5; even after all your efforts.
  • All these conditions are true for her/him both. Things could be vice versa too.
  • If you still want to be in ‘Love(?!)’; ignore these and be positive otherwise enjoy your best phase as ‘being single‘.

Now I perceived why this book is unnamed. Sometimes, you don’t know what name should be given to some relations! Why it is painful than a pleasure to be in love these days and why people love to be single! Expectations overwhelm understandings!

Last page of the book reads:

That’s why people ‘fall in love‘ and not ‘raise in love‘!

 

Advertisements

Happy to Hear...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s